Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (1964) dir. Jacques Demy
“You can tell a lot about a person by what’s on their playlist.”
“I know you can. That’s what’s worrying me.”
Begin Again (2013) dir. John Carney
excerpt from a book I’ll never write.(53)
“You came,” he breathes out in disbelief. Reaching out cautiously to take her tiny hands in his, he whispers one more time.
“You actually came.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I still care for you, despite what happened between us,” she calmly states.
“I broke things off with her after two months,” he admitted.
“Okay? So why’d you tell me you needed me?” she shuffles backwards a little bit. Unaware of her hand still on his, she pulled it back to fall on her side.
“I just wanted someone to talk to, and you were the first person on my mind.” He was being honest, too honest for her healing heart’s liking.
“Why didn’t you call Sam? Or maybe you could come over to Austin’s. Tom practically lives a block away. Gary is right across your..”
“I told you, you were the first person that came to mind,” he sighs. “You know why I went out with her. You know damn well why.”
“I know. I was trying to go out with other guys as well,” she admitted bluntly.
“What I don’t understand is why you’d pick her in particular. Why’d you choose someone who looks 97% like me to go out with? You know how stupid it made me look in front of our friends?”
He was expecting this question from everyone but her. How was he able to explain his desperate need to find someone just like her?
“You shouldn’t take it in a negative way like that. It was stupid of me, wanting to have someone exactly like you.”
“How could you possible tell me to not think that way? If you were in my position I bet you’d think the exact same thing – if not worse.” She retaliates.
“I just, I thought maybe I could find someone like you. But by then I realized no one will ever be you.”
She stood with her arms crossed, “Is that all you’ve got?”
He sighed, breathing deeply and exhaling just as loud to mask his embarrassment.
“I’m sorry. I’m this pathetic, you know. You were all I needed in this life and I never actually realized it before you left. I know I took you for granted. I know that no one will ever compare to how perfect you are for me.” Way to go, he thought to himself. He cringed internally at his own shitty cheesy words, but hey, what else could he lose?
Her gaze softened, but he knew she wasn’t going to let go of this that easily. That’s one thing he loved — no — loves about her.
“Really? Why did it take so long for you to realize, then? What made me so different from her?” She tests.
“She’s just different,” he forced out a pained laugh. “Do you even need me to explain to you?”
Her raised eyebrows and lack of words allowed him a few seconds to gather his thoughts.
“She.. She didn’t say anything when I left my veggies on the plate. She didn’t sing along to Michael Jackson with me in the car. And her laugh — she didn’t laugh wholeheartedly or genuinely like you did.” Her heart was starting to soften for him — he noticed all the little things they did when they were together.
“She hates dogs and has a cat. You, you know how much I despise cats,” he looks down at her with a nervous laugh. “Her eyes don’t light up like yours do when she’s talking to me. This is cheesy as fuck—“ he comments before clearing his throat and continuing.
“Her lips don’t curve up into a smile when I tell her a lame joke like you did. She made me feel like I was trying too hard to fall in love with someone like you but isn’t you. Does.. Does it make sense?”
“I see,” she smiles. Fuck, that smile made his whole day. It made his whole world fall back into place altogether. She took one step towards him shyly, still not making eye contact.
“I didn’t think you’d actually come,” he said once more, emphasizing his surprise — all while tucking her hair behind her ear. Only this time, she didn’t pull away.
She shrugged her shoulders lightly, before whispering, “Unfortunately, I’m the type of person you could hurt a billion times but I’d always show up if you called.”
His heart was broken at her words — her heart was always so pure.
“Always?” he asks pathetically. He knows her answer, he just wants her to say it out loud for him to hear.
“Yeah,” she smiles. “Always.”
—
